Friday, October 29, 2010

Attitude makes a difference

Hello Everyone,

It has been awhile since I have visited my Grandchildren and I miss them! There has been little to no time to spend with my twin girls and their birthday is coming up soon, October 31st.

The wedding is over and I am trying to catch up on my daily chores while maintaining a positive attitude. I am worried about Jerry and find myself in denial about the seriousness of his health and the path it is leading to. I am the one who will most likely be making medical and financial decisions. Deciding about what type of treatment is available and what I might do to assist him without draining my energy and health. Caring for my spouse who suffers from a major chronic illness allows me to test my strength. Will I be able to demonstrate my ability to step up and support the man I love?

I hope to learn to be kinder to myself because at times, especially since I am the primary caregiver, I will be exhausted to the bone and feel raw and exposed. On these days, I must learn to reach out to other family and friends and allow them to support me while I am trying to support my spouse.

I want to do the right thing by being strong and kind while expressing my love during this difficult time. I find myself slowing down and taking easy while Jerry is in the hospital. My body and mind requires time to rest and relax.

Dealing with a spouse who is facing a major health challenge is one of the most challenging, frustrating, heartbreaking experience however, my love for this individual grows daily. While I face fatigue and pain it seems like nothing next to Jerry's daily challenge of breathing. I still rely on Jerry for emotional, spiritual and financial support.

I believe a good attitude is important for our own health, and it makes it easier for others to be around us. I have learned that I need to rely on God for every aspect of my life. Our attitude should be one of acceptance realizing that nobody is strong in every area of life. We have to be able to admit weakness in some areas and accept it.

One way to keep a good attitude is to break the habit of dwelling on what you've lost. Now, it's okay to go through a period of mourning for all that you've lost. Just as I have lost the ability to remain full of energy and strong. I have stayed close to God through our health challenges and asked Him to bring us out of it in good time. I do not want to become a bitter person, one who dwells on our health challenges, but I try to look for positive things to dwell on. There are many things to be thankful for and on my list of things for which to be thankful are my grandchildren.

My goal is to take time out of my daily life to spend with my grandchildren. They are God's blessing and they bring joy to our lives. I look forward to what tomorrow brings and hope that I can offer quality time to all of my family members.

Meanwhile, make your own list of things to be thankful for and make the most of it. I pray and hope you have a pain and fatigue free day full of love and happiness.


Stela James said...

thanks for the post
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dominique said...

Viv - I am so sorry about your husband. I will be praying for God's grace and strength to carry you through, and for divine healing for Jerry.

Sending you lots of hugs in addition to my prayers. Please keep us updated on Jerry's progress and your needs.

Fibro Viv said...

Hello Stela-James and Doninique,

Jerry has been in and out of the hospital it seems monthly. It is very difficult on him and increasingly stressful on the family and me.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

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lab coat said...

Indeed there are many things and blessings to be thankful for. And looking at our problem will never solve our burden but instead having the right attitude towards our problem is the right solution. All have their own sufferings, you and me have our own burdens and its up to us on what we will respond in each problem that comes our way. Our response is always our responsibility, eh.

Fibro Viv said...

Hello Labcoat,

Indeed it is up to us how we respond to daily challenges. I believe we can help one another by providing information, feedback and support.

Take care,