Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Join the YMCA and start swimming

Hello Everyone,

I am considering joining the YMCA so I can swim on a daily basis. It is an easy way to get your exercise in without using too much of your precious energy. I truly enjoy swimming everyday when I visit my friend in Florida. I quickly get in shape and feel better. I also take my dog Ziggy for a walk on a daily basis. Just take it one day at a time and you will start to get stronger and feel better.

Good luck,

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Starting to open up

Hello Everyone,

I'm starting to open up and let people in again. Yes, I have done what is necessary to just live each and everyday. As days go by all I can think about is Jerry's last day on this earth. What might be different if I hadn't left the hospital room as requested by the nurse. Was it his way of letting go while I wasn't there to make it easier on me? I'm haunted by this moment in time when I felt something was wrong while in the waiting room. I felt something and ran into his room where I found them trying to resuscitate him. I asked them to stop, he didn't need to suffer any longer. He hung on as long as he could for 29 long days in that hospital. He was able to say "I love you" and gave me a hug and several kisses. I thought he would recover even though the doctors felt I needed to let go. I got lost in that moment and told them to stop. At that moment I felt it was the right thing to say but later felt remorse. It has been almost five years now and I feel like I made the right decision. I hope he knows I did it for him. I selfishly wanted him here with me but knew I had to let him go.

I am finally letting his soul rest, trying to move on without his love and affection. That love and affection that fed my heart and soul. I still cry and crave his presence. I can't explain the way I feel each and everyday of my life without him here with me.

I still have his things around me and have never cleaned out our closet or medicine cabinet. Those steps are necessary but so very hard to take. I don't know if I will ever find the strength to let go of his things. I pray for him and I know in my heart he is no longer suffering. I also know how hard it was for him to let go because he loved with such passion, his family was everything to him.

He taught me how to love unconditionally, how to accept someone in every way possible. This is one of the most important lessons he taught me in life and I cherish every moment we had.

That's all for now, keep reading my new posts if you are interested.

I pray and hope you have a day free of pain and fatigue.

Fibro Viv

Today's Tip:  When you are experiencing a flare-up force yourself to get out of bed, take a hot bath, and try to move. Spend time reading your favorite book, watch a movie, listen to music, just do something. You must try to focus on taking control of your health. Don't let this pain and fatigue take over your life. Fight.

Starting Over

Hello Everyone,

It has been awhile since I have written anything. I am filled with many thoughts and I am trying to process them all. Hope you can understand where I am coming from. And so I start with the following:


Never felt such complete and utter love as I did for Jerry. I never will forget the way he looked at me and showed his love in every way possible. I have never seen a man look at me and through me in every way possible. It was just us connected spiritually, mind, body...I just can't explain what we felt, that complete and utter love. The electricity I felt each and every time we touched. I miss that connection, that unconditional love that held us together. He wasn't perfect but neither was I. We were perfect for each other and found that balance in life making our journey possible. I'm selfish and greedy because I wanted more time with him.

Some may not understand this heartache and pain. How difficult it has been to loose the love of my life. Why is it taking me so long to want to be around people, to open up and connect, to understand that life goes on. We are unique and different, we all process loss in different ways. I just want the space and time I need to process this loss.

If you are so inclined keep reading my new posts.

I pray and hope everyone has a day without pain and fatigue.

Fibro Viv

Today's tip: Try to move forward and fight that fatigue and pain by forcing yourself to at least stretch and move. I know it hurts, but you have no choice. Don't let this pain stop you from living. God Bless

Saturday, July 09, 2016

To Know, To Love, and To Serve God in His church and our community

Hello Everyone,

Today my message is "To Know, to Love, and To Serve God in His Church and our Community". This can be done in God's Church or within our community. It is our job to make sure we treat everyone with love and respect. If you don't believe in God, just believe in something good and important. Sometimes people forget that just being kind, smiling, reaching out, and assisting others is part of being a good steward.

The news about the violence against the people who serve our community truly saddens me. It is our responsibility to honor, respect, and appreciate those men and women that have decided to serve their community.  I want to openly express my gratitude for anyone that works with the public, whose focus is to protect people and property. I am sending prayers and good thoughts their way. May God Bless them each and everyday and give them the strength to fulfill their duties in an honorable way. May they be guided to remain impartial and not show ill will, may they practice their duties without use of excessive force. May God protect them from those who wish to harm them. Amen.

Wishing everyone a safe day with fatigue or pain.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Dealing with Light Sensitivity

Hi Everyone,

Today I want to discuss how to deal with light sensitivity. Our home and work environment can mess with our sensitivities to light, sound, and touch. Flourescent lighing can trigger headaches, dizzy spells, and vision problems. There are days when my sensitivity to light, sound, and touch are magnified to the point of not being able to deal with anything. The next thing I know, I am experiencing a full blown migraine. Not good.

I retreat to my bedroom, turn down the lights (sometimes turn them off completely), turn on some soft music and lay down to rest. I lay on my back with pillows placed under my head, each side of my arms, and under my bent knees. I enjoy listening to music, or simply meditate with my eyes closed. 

Sometimes it is difficult to deal with normal or average lights and sounds. Hypersensitivity seems to occur on its own, with no headache. These sensitivities can interfere with your work and daily activities. Being unable to tolerate average levels of light or sound can make it difficult to go outside, participate in social events, or do your job. I know it is related to certain health conditions that should be addressed. So, by all means talk to your healthcare provider about these issues. Yet another reason to journal because it will help you understand what triggers these episodes. Here are my tips:

- Journal (assists you in figuring out what triggers these sensitivities)
- Darken rooms 
- Wear earplugs (to this day, I wear one earplug at the movie theater)
- Wear sunglasses
- Take breaks away from settings you find difficult because of light or noise
- Lay down and rest with your eyes closed
- Get the right amount of sleep (we all have different sleep requirements)
- Practice deep breathing exercises
- Practice relaxation exercises (meditation)
- Allow yourself some "me" time
- Seek out support (family, friends, doctors, Internet acquaintances)

My initial experience was devasting and caused me to become anti-social. I finally decided that blogging, researching, and reading about other people experiencing these symptoms made me feel better about myself. Yes, I was blessed to have a partner that loved and supported me. He was there through good times and bad times. Somehow it seemed easier to deal with these issues when I shared my experience with like individuals. Do what makes sense to you and your physical and mental health.

My thoughts: Stay connected to your family and friends. Seek help and learn to communicate your thoughts and feelings.

I hope and pray you have a day free of pain and fatigue.

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Affirm Youself Often

Hi Everyone,

We must affirm ourselves often because we deserve it, giving ourselves compliments will provide a boost to our self-confidence. In the process we must also affirm others because helping others feel good about themselves makes us feel better about ourselves too. The goal is to accept yourself thereby allowing you to open up to the people around you. When we feel pain and fatigue whether it be emotionally or physically the feelings of sadness and anger can cause someone to lose determination or confidence. Affirm Yourself Often. Examples of self-affirmation:

I AM - is a statement of who you are

I CAN - is a statement of your potential

I WILL - is a statement of positive change in your life and what you want to happen moving forward.

Create your own or consider the ones I have written below:

- I am in control of my life and I am willing to take that first step to control my pain and fatigue.

- I can be positive, I can plan to become more active and I can succeed.

- I will focus on remaining positive and I will decrease my pain and fatigue.

Yesterday I wrote that I wanted to blog and share my emotional and physical journey. I think I will separate my relationship grief and possibly discuss how we start to consider building new relationships. I may create a new blog on relationships. So this site will continue focusing on how I deal with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Let me know what you think.

Part of chronic illness includes a loss of self, social life, money. etc. and our definition of normacy changes. You may be in the initial phase of realizing you have a chronic illness. Where do you stand? Do you want to learn how to take control of your pain and fatigue? I hope so. Are you starting your journey, progressing, or at a stand still?

Personally, I got lazy. Oh I still continued to stretch and eat the right foods, but I did not make an effort to add to my routine. The only reason I continued to stretch was because I trained myself to stretch before getting out of bed and it felt good. I figured out certain foods did not agree with my body and just changed my food choices. I worked on improving my health and eventually my habits changed. Then life changed, I lost Jerry and then I lost interest in my own emotional and physical health and happiness. I'm sharing because I want someone to learn from my mistakes. Don't just survive, I know you are tired, in pain, fatigued, and discouraged. Each time you wake up, you have another chance to make things better, to improve upon your emotional and physical health. You have a choice.

Well you are probably bored so let me end this post with my thoughts for the day:

Take control of your life. Start with one change, and when it feels like part of your usual routine, add another. DO NOT STOP even when you feel pain and fatigue. Once that change feels like second nature, add another, and so on. Don't just survive, make new plans and goals. Affirm Yourself Often.

I hope and pray you have a day free of pain and fatigue.

P.S. Completed my yoga stretches and exercise routine!

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Return of the Fibro Blogger

Hi Everyone,

So I have decided to start blogging again. I will share how I am dealing with my fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue along with my feelings about moving forward without my soul mate.

Blogging is a way of dealing with feelings, it forces us to view, accept, and learn what our true intentions are. Running away from uncomfortable issues, shutting down our feelings, or numbing our sorrow catches up with us sooner or later. Avoidance only makes matters worse and we cannot outrun our heartbreak, pain, or fatigue. So, it is my intent to continue to learn and to take personal responsibility for my own life, love, and happiness. We all choose different ways of expressing or dealing with life, this is my way.

Today I woke up feeling sluggish and lethargic. My sweet loyal dog; Palamino (Pal) kept waking me up, leading me to the kitchen, and wanting food. I take ambien and sometimes wake up hungry. Unfortunately, my dog has gotten used to this habit. We have both enjoyed my nightly snacks and my son has caught us in bed eating out of the same sherbet container! I had no idea we were enjoying the sherbet and always wondered why the container was missing or half full. That Palamino cannot be trusted! Going to place a lock on the freezer door, right after I teach Pal how to open a lock.    

Lets jump into improving our physical strength. I know it is hard when you are in pain and feel fatigued. Find a way to force yourself to move. When the weather is bad and I am experiencing a flare-up, I have to force myself to stretch and move. It is hard and exhausting in the beginning, please do not give up, it gets easier and you do start to feel stronger. I am not going to lie to you, it isn't easy and we will not magically feel better. Motivate yourself, challenge yourself and believe in yourself. I do remember not even being able to lift my head up, requiring assistance walking from the bed to the bathroom. You are not alone and things do improve. Just read my old blog posts, you will see the progression. Please start by setting goals and consider journaling. I started to add to my daily stretching exercise program. I found a video on youtube, it is a 15 minute beginner workout for weight loss and strength. I started on May 26, 2015, am doing it daily and have already lost the extra weight. Maybe it was just water weight. The plan is to continue the routine every other day. No point in setting unattainable goals. I do not diet because diets are short term answers. I am already limited on what I can eat without feeling sick or suffering from IBS. Increasing activity, drinking lots of water, and reducing portions works for me. I have heard of people exercising on Ambien, so maybe I can subconsciously train my brain to exercise. Ambien also helps you gain perspective and reach happy epiphanies about your life….too bad I can’t remember anything!

Let us get serious…...


Use my energy facing my sadness and treating myself with love, not attempting an impossible escape.


Remind myself that resistance is useless. I will try to surrender to what's happening and accept that sorrow is a part of living. While I have been able to manage my sorrow around family and friends, I have not truly managed it within my heart and soul. Back to step one! I hope you like to sing and dance because it is a major part of my life. Singing and dancing encourages and intensifies our emotions. Plus it is another form of exercise. Try it.  

I leave you with my thoughts for the day: Pretending that you're okay when you’re not only makes the discomfort return stronger than before. Be patient and listen to your heart. Together we can learn to accept and experience life with a greater awareness, love, and gratitude for all our lessons learned.

I hope and pray that you have a pain and fatigue free day. Fibro Viv

P.S. I appreciate your time and would love to hear from you. I would also love to mentor anyone that needs help. Don't be afraid to ask for help.